The Puff Adder

A slow-moving, bad-tempered and excitable snake that may hiss or puff when disturbed. When annoyed, it strikes vigorously in all directions and has the capability of a lightning-fast sideways strike without withdrawing the head. Fortunately it often gives warning of its intentions by hissing noisily. It relies on its perfect camouflage to escape detection and will rather freeze than move off. Moves in caterpillar fashion leaving straight deep track in the sand.

Puff adders make splendid rat-traps.

Ken Leavingsoon, friend of assorted enemies of Britain and denizen of the underside of a particularly slimy stone, knows he has a fight on his hand from Boris. Hence he aims below the belt, having long ago abandoned any pretence (if he ever had any) to observance of the Marquess of Queensberry’s Rules. Occasionally and helpfully his low blow goes adrift.

Iain Dale purveys this example (Pssssst, He’s a Non Dom) of how London’s best known snake plays the game. The trick is to smear, smear and smear again in the knowledge that some of the mud will stick some of the time and thus is never wasted. Fortunately Ken’s intelligence service is not what it was (perhaps like their belly-crawling master they have been at the snake oil too much for their own good).

Thus they fingered a man for being a Non-Dom when he was not.

The accusation is, of course, typical of the tactics of this particular puff adder. But even if Mr. Diamond were a Non-Dom, he is at least head of a Bank which is based in the UK and contributes to the economy of our country.

This is more than can be said for one Hugo Chavez who is such a big bosom buddy (if a snake has a bosom, that is) of Ken but whose whole outlook is so inimical to British interests and the interests of the Venezuelan people.

Mr. Chavez it is who flogs off at fire-sale prices significant parcels of Venezuelan oil to curry favour with his left wing mayoral crony, to the considerable detriment of the Venezuelan people, and who is bent on a classical left-wing attack on private enterprise and democracy in his country, thus dooming it to poverty and bankruptcy within a short compass.

Mr. Diamond, on the other hand, would enrich this country just as Chavez would beggar his.

Still, it was fun to see Macavity being forced by circumstance to cosy up to the nation’s best known reptile, an act which must make even his stomach turn a little. Everyone will have been cheered that Brown is such a good friend of the man who is such an intimate of a nasty South American communist dictator, for by his friends shall we know the man.