Peter Hain, unloved failed candidate for Labour’s Deputy Leadership and disgraced ex-minister, will be thrilled by the news that one of the contributors to his spectacularly inept shot at stardom is keen for Knacker of the Yard to look into not just the obvious breaches of the Political Parties Elections and Referendums Act 2000 but how the moolah was spent.

Still, after a few brushes with the boys in blue over the years, he will know the ropes by now when it comes to the process of explaining himself. One hopes he enjoys the process of giving his DNA, an innovation since his last visit to The Cop Shop, for storage on the Police Database in perpetuity. This will make it easier to nab him next time if he ever makes a Mandelsonian return.

Thus The Guardian tells us how the General Secretary of the GMB, Paul Kenny is anxious for answers:

Kenny said yesterday: “We will cooperate fully with the police inquiries and will supply any documentation that the police require on the donation. We want the police to inquire into whether our money was spent correctly.

“We can trace £4,197 as it was a printing bill, [but] the £10,000 was supposed to be spent on an advertising campaign. We want the police to make sure it was, and not channelled to any other third party. If it wasn’t [spent on advertising] we want our money back.”

Memo to Hain: (1) pack Toothpaste, toothbrush and the perma-tan, keep handy for use in a hurry; (2) make note of Brief’s telephone number in case of emergencies.