The Peterborough Evening Telegraph has (here) reported on a call for the Peking Olympics to be boycotted next year made by Senior Tory MEP Edward McMillan-Scott (Yorkshire and the Humber) who claimed there was evidence of “persecution and genocide” in China and said EU countries should consider pulling out of the Games.


Perhaps we might send The Tub O’Lard, who is known to be keen on China to raise the issues? His enthusiasm is difficult to comprehend. Perhaps he likes the way in which they have studiously eliminated all those awful ‘bourgeois’ people over the years; or perhaps he likes the idea of using tanks to put down marauding bands of demonstrating and recalcitrant foxhunters or Poujadist Fuel Protestors; or maybe he is an enthusiast for the shooting of economic criminals: that would put an end to all these obscene Fat Cat bonuses at the pull of a trigger!; or maybe he is just nostalgic for sulphur-laden smog to remind him of the great days of Northern Industry which was so shamefully destroyed by all those wicked croquet-playing Tory Toffs.


Oh to be fly on the wall at that little party!


Of one thing you may all be quite sure. The Chinese will milk this for every propaganda point they can as did the other Tyrannies who have hosted the Games, such as The Little Bavarian Corporal and Mass Mass Murderer ‘Uncle’ Joe Stalin, which is why Chinese athletes, swimmers, shot-putters et al will be being pumped full of this or that steroid as we write (as well as, no doubt, copious quantities of quack preparations made from endangered species).


Chinese athletes or whatever you want to call them (Laboratory experiment? Chemistry Set?) of whom no one has previously heard will break this or that record by a country mile and the IOC will look down and carefully study the floor around their feet.


All this will be accompanied by bagfuls of synthetic, wild BBC enthusiasm for the British Tiddlywinks Team, our only winner of a gold medal, who will be presented as the greatest sportsmen since Philippides brought the good news from Marathon to Athens. At one and the same moment Our Glorious Failures will be found to have been cheated by this or that circumstance or happenstance which will justify a grateful Government to dole out a whole bagful of MBEs and the like, with, surely, Dukedoms all round for the Tiddleywinkers.


Meanwhile China will routinely be oppressing anyone who steps out of line or wants to do something really dramatic like have a second child. The oppressed native people of China’s colony Tibet, whose country it really is, will have their faces ground ever further into the dirt by a ruthless and tyrannical Occupying Power.


Will this Government, filled as it is with an assortment of ex-Communists (all of whom, of course, resigned in 1968 as Russian Tanks crushed the Prague Spring), ‘disillusioned’ Marxists/Maoists/Trots and other assorted ex-Looney Lefties do anything at all to rock the boat?


Don’t be daft. Yaks might fly before that were to happen.


If this shower could not summon up the will to take a pop at Comrade Bob, with whom we do not trade or do diplomatic business, they are hardly going to stick their fingers up the Chinese nostril, bearing in mind we do trade with them and do diplomatic business with them.


Besides there are a fair number of them, I’ll be bound, who have still got their Little Red Book tucked away somewhere (some may even keep it by their bedsides out of nostalgia for the glory days of 1968) who still think the whole rotten system is ‘a good thing’ and would dearly love to let us have a taste of it, so they are not going to be full of fire and brimstone for the Communist Cause.


And as for the participants, those athletes who know what a chequebook looks like but cannot spell the words ‘principle’ or ‘boycott’ will all go, you may be sure.


Our politicians will all go and strut their stuff, all Useful Idiots lending respectability to a deeply odious regime, simply because we have to be seen by the IOC to do so, lest Emperor Jacques Rogge has a major hissy fit.


All this will leave a very nasty, bitter acid taste in the mouths of us ordinary mortals who can spot humbug when they see it, but not, you may be sure in the mouths of assorted Socialists and Sportsmen who parrot phrases like ‘The Games Unify The World’ and pretend actually to believe them.


Cynical? Moi? You just bet.

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