Sometimes one wonders what happens to senior policemen when they are appointed to the rank of Chief Constable or Commander or Deputy Chief Constable: are they secretly taken down to a special operating theatre in the bowels of the Home Office and there given a special Lobotomy by Dr. Straw or Dr. Clarke or Dr. Reid (or whoever happens to be in charge this week) which removes all their common sense?

That is the only sensible conclusion that one can reach concerning the widely reported proposal of senior police, aided and abetted by The Home Office and supported by various other idiots, that DNA samples should be taken from anyone committing almost any minor infraction of the criminal law, such as speeding or dropping litter, on the grounds that all such people are almost certainly going to turn into serial murderers, rapists or burglars.

I wonder if anyone at the HQ of the Ministry of Silly but Sinister Ideas has actually thought this one through. Almost certainly not.

There you are in the clapped out Ford Mondeo struggling to get to the School on time to collect the kids so that they do not get kidnapped by some deviant and pow! You go through the camera at 31 mph. Next thing you know ten armed and body-armoured Plods are at your house whisking you down to the Nick for a full set of fingerprints, photos and DNA swabs.

Exaggerated? Perhaps: but someone out there who thinks this is a ‘good’ idea ought just to contemplate for a moment the huge amount of resentment that people caught speeding or jumping the lights are going to develop for the police ‘service’ if they have to go through all the humiliating and demeaning processes of being booked in as a criminal in this way.

First candidate for this particular stupidity: the Chief Constable of the Northern Constabulary who was recently caught speeding on his own patch.

Then let us make sure that a senior and very self-loving, self-important politician is next up and make sure the visit to the Rozzers for a bit of DNA swabbing is done in the full glare of the Papparazzi. I bet they don’t like it up ’em.

Meanwhile, as all this DNA swabbing, fingerprinting and photography is going on (which will, of course, occupy a lot of man hours of already over-stretched police officers), the homes of the swabees will be burgled, their children will be molested, their identities stolen online and their cars will be nicked. And will the ‘police’ give a toss. No, of course not: they have got far better things to do taking your DNA.

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